I wanted to cry but no tears would come. I dropped the gun and just sat there on my knee’s looking. I no longer knew where anything was in my home, I was paralyzed. I could hear the sirens, they were coming for me and there was nothing I could do. I would tell them the truth. I would tell them it was not what it looked like. Even with those thoughts, I had yet to have a voice, I could not speak, and I was being devoured by my thoughts and of the images that were before me. Disbelief, how did I miss such a thing? How did I welcome this in my life? How after all these years, had I been so blind? I had allowed him to determine my fate, and now I had determined his.